Nate throwing a horseshoe at Pine Ridge.WARNING: Confession from a parent at her wits' end follows. If you're one of those parents who thinks your kid's always an angel or who never tells your kid "no," skip this post.
Nathan had this week off of school because of testing. I had a day with him that involved way too many "No's!" and tons of resistance. I put him in time out and nothing seemed to curb his attitude. I started to feel really frustrated and ended up in tears. I thought, "Why do I try? Since he obeys strangers better, maybe I should put him in daycare." I called Dan from the car as I was driving home (following a meltdown in the store and naughty Nathan refusing to stay buckled up), telling him this new thought, and he helped by putting Nathan in his pajamas and putting him straight to bed with the door locked. It's hard to be a parent when it feels like you're banging your head against a wall. I decided it was time for more tough love. He called out to me from the room, and I did not respond. He was going to bed without his usual bedtime stories, hug and kiss, etc. I'd had enough.
The next morning, I got up and decided to take the kids outside for some soccer practice. I decided he needed more one-on-one attention, so I focused on him and let Sophia wander and play with the rocks. I played trains with him one day, got out the play dough, took him to the water park another day, and we swam as a family on Saturday. I came to the conclusion that what Nathan needed was more of me, not less of me. It can be hard to know what your child needs when his/her personality is different from your own. I needed to come to my son where he is and to stop thinking about how he should be or how I wanted things and meet him where he is right now. I need to ENJOY him now and live in the present. He'll only be young for so long, and childhood goes by too fast. I have to bench my own desires and plans for the sake of my kids' lives, and it's not about sacrifice, it's about accepting responsibility. And it's made that much easier by the fact that I love my children very much.
There, I got that out of my system. That's not to say I won't ever have "one of those days" again, but I'm really happy with how I dealt with my frustration. I focused on Nathan and not only gave him quality time but also acted more consistently this past week when he talked back or refused to cooperate. Now, on to better news . . .
Nathan had a half-hour test on Tuesday. Sophia and I roamed the halls while the teacher asked him questions. We discussed the test after, and he passed with flying colors. "Woohoo!" as Nate would say. She said he did an awesome job with the ABC's; he knows all of them (except he got confused with lowercase l, calling it an i). He counted to 100 for her, but he missed a few numbers (Dan thinks out of boredom). She said he even did a good job at looking at pictures and writing down a letter that corresponds from the sound; for example, he wrote "d" for dog and duck and an "r" for the picture of a fire. She said he's behaving beautifully at school, and he just needs some work with cutting (which surprises me since he did that a lot in preschool). Way to go, Nate! He really likes kindergarten. He learned a cute song about colors he'll sing randomly at home.
We went to Dan's cousin's baby blessing today at the Pine Valley chapel. It was nice to drive up in the rain and then arrive with the sun breaking throught the clouds -- kind of symbolizes how my week went. I liked the cool wind and the pine trees. The chapel was packed full, and they had chairs set up outside, and some people sat on blankets. We sat on a blanket, and the kids had a blast running in the carpet of grass and attacking us with pine needles. We didn't hear much, but that's not much different from most Sundays, and it was great to sit outside during the service.
We went swimming Saturday, and our kids' personalities are quite different, which is evidenced by how they swim. Nathan wants to swim everywhere and can't get enough, and he'll playfully attack others with water and ask to ride on our backs. Sophia will get in carefully and gets nervous on the second step. She wants to be held and wants to feel safe at all times. They both love playing ring-around-the-rosy with me, as you can see in the video clip below. We watched the BYU game with my parents later, and I hope the Cougars have a great season. They crushed Northern Iowa. I also hope Nathan has a great soccer season! His first game is next Saturday, so stay tuned.
Quotes of the week:
"ME MESS!" Sophie confesses to her Mommy when I find a big mess on the floor. I sometimes overreact at the scene (who, me?!), and she'll look up and sweetly say, "Me mess!"Grateful moment:
"Yum wind! The wind tastes good!" Nathan will "taste" the wind as we walk home from the bus stop. Cute kid.
"Palin reminds me of Laura Roslin." Angie, and you'd have to be a Battlestar Galactica fan to catch the reference. Roslin was over the department of education, and after the Cylons attacked, she was the only appointed leader still alive, so she became president of the twelve colonies. She turned out to be a great leader -- sometimes a little hardcore, but I like her character.
I'm thankful for music. I like how I can listen to a song and it will alter my mood or transport me to a memory. Music helps to inspire me in many ways. Music elicits joy and a range of other emotions within me (depending on the song). I look forward to moving a piano into our house when we move so I can play more.
